Category Archives: Crazy Stuff

See crazy stuff I have encountered

But they charge me €25 when I walk through the door

I had a client call me today to tell me her email was not working. Usually what I do is establish if they have internet. If they do, I will initiate a remote connection to their computer and diagnose the issue.

My first question was “Do you have internet”.

Client: “No, the send and receive does not work”.

Me: “Actually, to determine if you have internet access, the easiest way is to open your web browser and type a web site name like www.google.com and if the site appears, then you have internet. Can you try that?”

(I can hear typing and mumbling going on over the phone.)

Client: “That does not work and I still cant send and receive email”

Me: “Well I am afraid I cant really help you because I don’t provide your internet access, only the email service itself and you need internet first before you can connect to the service, hence the error when clicking send and receive, becasue you have no internet”

Client: “So what do I do?”

Me: “Check all your cables are connected correctly etc and that your router is on, if you have done all of that and still no internet, then you need to contact the company that provides your ADSL service”

Client: “Contacting the provider is useless, they are slow and take ages and I need my internet now, what other options do I have?”

Me: “You can always find a local IT company to diagnose the issue.”

Client: “Yes but they will charge me for that. As soon as I walk through the dorr they will charge me 25 euros to fix it, in fact even they are going out of business because no-one wants to pay them for fixing their computer issues”.

(I am thinking at this point the client is a bit mental)

Me: “Do you have a friend who is knowledgeable in troubleshooting internet connection issues who can come over and look at your setup?”

Client: “No, and I dont know how to do it myself”

Me: “I am sorry but the only options are the ones I have given you. If you had internet I could probably assist you via remote connection, but without it, I cant do much from here”.

Client: “Okay. I will try and fix it myself and if I have problems I will let you know”

Yeah….ok…….try and call me……thank goodness for call screening!

On Spec? Errr…Dont Call Me, I will Call You Okay?

I just got off the phone with Justin who mentioned to me that he had posted a video on his blog and that I would really relate to it and have a great laugh when I watched it.

The video below pretty much sums up what I go though every week with some clients who want me to do work “on spec” and how zany these people sound.

If you are a self employed web designer, programmer or graphics designer then you will relate to this straight off.

If you are a client, more than likely you wont “get it” and think everything sounds completely reasonable.

:o)

Ok Thanks!

I had an old client email me today and tell me……

CLIENT: “The ordering process in our website is not working at the last step. One of our products will be featured in a big website so we will probably receive orders from there. And the final step of ordering is not working. Can you please check this and see if it can be sorted asap?”.

Its no problem, I did not actually design the web site myself and the client cant go back to the old designer because he fell out with them so he is asking me because I am a nice guy, which I am, but my time is not free and I am a busy guy, so I sent back the following email….

ME: “Dear X, My normal rates are €50 per hour and Emergency rates are €100 per hour. If you wanted me to look at it today and tell you where the problem is, the charge would be €100. I would also tell you how long it would take to fix.

I am actually booked out for appx 8 weeks anyway but I can check it out for you today for a fee of €100.

Let me know and I can send you an invoice and look at the issue right away for you”.

A few minutes later I get an email back saying…

CLIENT: “Ok Craig Thanks”.

Errr…? thanks what exactly? Kind of a “damned if you do and damned if you dont” situation I guess, so I sent back another email.

ME: “Hi X, Which one do you mean exactly? – “Ok thanks for letting me know but no thanks” or “ok thanks please raise an invoice and fix the problem for me”?”

Still waiting for a response! (so we can guess which one it was then).

Why cant people just be a “little” more descriptive rather being so cryptic in responses?

Am I not deemed important enough for a more extensive response?

The Google Business Card Idea

Everyday I am amazed at the incredible innovative ideas and just when I thought we had run out of ideas someone comes along with a corker!

In addition, just to show how amazing the internet is, I found this information below from my dad who sent me a link to ecademy.com which had a link to another guys blog which had a link to scaryideas.com. lol!

The link can be found here at http://www.scaryideas.com/print/9736/ but I have also taken a copy of the image in case their site disappears!

Anyway, someone clever thought of the idea below for some business cards.

Very clever!

google-business-card

Paypal is Great but a few things you should know

Before I start, dont get me wrong, I have been a member of Paypal since 2000 and I have never had a problem with them, mainly because I conduct myself in a professional manner and in general dont get sucked in by fraudulent transactions.

So here are a few things YOU should know about using paypal….

When you deposit money into a PayPal account, PayPal exercises control over your Paypal account and not your bank account. (this is actually a good thing but shows that they have the power)

PayPal enjoys the right to freeze your PayPal account immediately and drain all your money even if it remotely suspects the authenticity of a transaction.

They also are at liberty to pull your money directly out of your personal bank account, often without any prior warning.

Now, if you think PayPal treated you unfairly and want to dispute their decision, you will be helpless as PayPal is the supreme investigator, judge, jury and executioner in all disputes regarding your account.

PayPal is not acting as a big brother.

You agreed to all these conditions, when you signed up to PayPal.

PayPal quite often is unwilling to listen to your side of the story. What many people term unfair is PayPal’s refusal to provide you with detailed information about their investigation and their unwillingness to disclose documents they relied upon to make their decision. There is an agonising suspense of at least six long months before you can expect to see your money again.

If you unfortunately choose to complain, Paypal has an unacceptable or one may say even distasteful way of responding.  You will have to contend with extra long hold times, delays, and dead-end auto-responder e-mails which normally reads:

“Thank you for contacting PayPal. We apologise for the delay in responding to your service request. After review, the decision has been made to keep your account locked. This decision cannot be appealed. If you have any further questions, please reply to this email.”

If you are still hopeful and pursue matters further, you may at best convince them to further investigate.

However, do not be naïve to imagine that PayPal will favorably consider your version of the story.

So there you have it. A few things about Paypal you should know.

Like I said, I have no beef with Paypal, they, as far as I am concerend provide a sterling service. Its only natural for us to like only what we hear. If we are told something we dont like, then we deem it unfair.